Minimalist

I am a minimalist. I try not to have more stuff than I can care for.

To that end, I frequently say to myself, "Do I really need this?"

The answer is frequently negative. For example:

• Television - Not needed as it has the frightening capacity to bring Nancy Grace into my house.
  
• Dishwasher - Also not needed. How many dishes can two people make?
  
• Microwave - I have a really big one. It's called an oven.
  
• Bathtub - Absolutely unnecessary. I agree with the Japanese... why sit in your own scum?
  
• Ice cubes - Doesn't the refrigerator make all drinks cold?
  
• A barbecue - Too dangerous. I should never be left alone with charcoal starter.
  
• Air conditioning - It's called Lake Michigan.
  

Since I have so little stuff, lots of room is left for cats and books. Cats don't have to be dusted or washed. They are great heating pads and can also perform mouse duty.

The rest of the empty space is filled with books. In this regard, I'm a total maximalist.

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